Finals are over and I feel like I can finally relax! I think i'm going to be keeping fairly busy with job hunting and what-not and after I get a job i'll be working to save up for a car. Cars just cost way too much these days. It's ridiculous. Well, I am sitting at the library waiting for my brother to finish homework and just felt like posting something to seem like i'm alive. Things I am excited for as of late: AVENGERS!, Getting a car, going dancing again, going to friends' weddings, hopefully school next semester. I want to just get started on my career. Patience is a virtue though, and I guess God is just trying to tell me that it is a virtue I usually lack. My time on the comp is nearing it's end. I'll post again later. Sterling out....

Keeping things interesting

So, just when things start becoming kinda routine I find that life will throw a curve ball at me. The routine was wake up in the morning, get ready, go to school, study, hang out a little bit, come home and get ready for bed. So, yesterday, I get a text from my dad saying that if I need a ride home I have to meet him at his work. I jump on a bus and head over. I get there and am just waiting for him to get done and he's chatting it up with some guys forever so I decide to take the demo phone and watch some netflix on it.

I open up netflix and find that the most recently watched shows and movies that have been viewed on his account are some pornagraphic movies. I couldn't just go show my dad as he was chatting to some people. I decided just to watch my show and then when they left i'd tell him.

I start watching white collar and when he's finished talking to these guys I tell him what I saw. He's like, "were these watched on this phone?" I tell him that I don't know. They were just recently viewed on his account. The computer at the store my brother is managing is connected to that netflix account and I know that my youngest brother wasn't the one that watched them, seeing as he watches a tv show that we both enjoy and we talk about it. My guess is that it's my brother that is supposed to be heading on his mission.

My dad just says, "i'm gonna kick his butt." When I ask him about it today I ask if he did anything about it and he's like, "Don't worry about it." I'm thinking to myself, um..... he is supposed to be preparing for a mission and he is out with his friends right now and i'm thinking.... do you not even care that your son is throwing his talents and his life away for some momentary pleasure? I can tell you, I was pissed. It used to be me that was the problem child, but now i'm finding myself wanting to help my brother and my dad but they think my opinion is worth as much as dirt on the bottom of their shoe.

I feel trapped in this house. It's like my dad, goes out of his way to piss me off most of the time and when he's not deliberately pissing me off, he is just nonchalant towards everyone. He doesn't give a wet slap about anything. I feel like my mom, my youngest brother and I are the only ones that can be saved. I hate that feeling.

I think this is something I need to start up again.

Blogging has proven to be pretty therapeutic in the past. It has also proven to be a good way to get my thoughts out and be able to look back at them to try to make sense of them. The main thought on my mind I guess is just wondering what I need to do to make things work out in my life. I need to find out what I want to do with my life besides school and career. I know what I want with that but I don't know anything as far as relationships or family or anything... On this topic i'm completely lost. What I need is some answers. To get answers I need, I think I need to develop a stronger relationship with God. So what are some things I need to figure out? I need to figure out what I want my family to be like. What I want myself to be like. I know what I don't want myself to be but that doesn't tell me how I want to be. So anyways, I think that's all my thoughts at the moment

<p>There are trials that you can overcome by yourself. Others need devine intervention.

Wow. Can life get better? I submit that it can not!

Wow.

That's all I can think right now. Wow. Life is incredible. I love life right now. I am so happy that I have been blessed with such an incredible singles ward. I went to a stake priesthood meeting last night and one of the guys in my ward spoke on our trip to Nauvoo. It was awesome because as he was talking I really felt that our ward was more of a family. When he mentioned people, I knew who he was talking about. Also, I went choir yesterday and we sang "Come Follow Me". It was awesome! Also, my relationship with God has been growing. I also am going to the Temple as much as I can. I try for once a week. So far so good! Love you all!

So...trying something new....

I decided that I am going to write a blog just on spiritual experiences that I have or spiritual thoughts that tend to pop in my head as I continue to grow spiritually. For the last little bit I have been Helping a friend of mine with some problems. She was severly sexually abused as a child and has been sexually abused for a lot of her life. She is a sex addict by force of habit. She got into drugs and alchohal to numb the pain of being used and not being loved. I wont write her name for obvious reasons. Since I have forsaken my personal issues with pornography I have been able to start to build that relationship with my Father in Heaven and I have been able to start helping others like my friend. It has been an awesome and humbling experience. Since I have started helping my friend she has said no to sex twice and prayed twice. She is having some problems with trusting God and I think that she has been making some awesome progress. It's been a blessing in my life to help her and I also got to see my cousin get married in the Bountiful Utah temple recently. It was incredible to see the pure love and joy between them that they both have for each other. It is such a blessing to have such amazing friends and family. My singles ward is the best! Farmington Hills Ward, YOU ROCK! Well i'm signing off for the day. I love you all! Peace out!